What a 'Woody' story!

When wifey dear looms large on the very ball game our Tiger's name is sworn by, what can he do but to tuck aside his golf kit for a while? A while or so it seems, but Tiger Woods is hell bent to hold onto Elin, who has issued him the ultimatum to mend his wayward ways. READ MORE

After the ominous "gate crash" into the fire extinguisher and a tree, the rumor mills were rife with his cheeky hook ups and quite a few tongue-in-cheek tales. Why nail down the poor Tiger when he is already bleating? This is definitely not a 'desi' version of hit and run. Otherwise our very own hunk Salman Khan, could not have ducked the Judiciary and roamed scot free reiterating his 'juvenile' follies. Tiger rams into a tree and the world sits up to dig his grave. For God's sake can we not figure out the "woody" love? (The mighty Wood killing a meek wooden tree.)

Well, the world is in for a brand new racy episode of  "Desperate Celeb Husbands" and to add pepper to the broth Woods is publicly apologizing for his misdemeanor. Repentance is written large on his grim face, and now, he wants to cling onto his family when the world seems vindictive to pull him down. Not to the clergy, but Tiger Woods confesses on his website and regrets his gallant ways that has found favors with many a women. Truly, he has shown his chutzpah. But any takers for his profound regrets? Not Elin at least. She wants a tooth for a tooth. Woods has to hang his boots or she will not forgo the 'unlucky' eleven romantic liaisons that he has had, right under her vigilant nose. (Though we are yet to confirm whether she had a vigilant nose at all.)

Tiger is now mewing like a lower feline, fanning his injury and saving his alimony by trying to bring his estranged wife and children back into his life. The legal rookies are gunning for Tiger's head. No wonder, one man's food is another man's poison. On the ground of his alleged promiscuity, they counsel Elin to file a lawsuit against Woods and quit the Florida den. Ahem! Since when have the representatives of law stopped minting green bucks by providing free advices?

Now, what we await is whether Elin stitches the severed relationship in time keeping her children in mind, or drags Tiger to the court. One bit of advice from our end too for the heart-broken Elin. If you are religious, believe in the sermon, "Hate the sin, but not the sinner", wipe away the tears, kiss and make up. And to our beloved "Tiger, Tiger burning bright/In the forests of the night" we can only say "Amen!" May your devotion to amend your inked reputation and efforts to bring back your money and wife soften Santa's hearts. And with jingling of bells your Lady Luck smiles back at you.